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Monday, May 3, 2010

Ham Radio Rundown: 5-1-10

10:00

Eddie gives a rundown of the show. We have John Bell, former of Z100, and the weird guy who fucked a dolphin on the show tonight.

Koof isn't here. Eddie thinks he is on his way to the aquarium to kidnap a dolphin.

Eddie say's all morning zoo shows are fake and their "Phone Scams" are fake.


That's right, I'm talking about YOU!

They talk about morning zoo shows and how disgusting they are.

Eddie say's he took a massive shit before the show and say's he isn't allowed to have beans because the aftermath is awful.

We all agree morning zoo sucks and that none of their conversations would be allowed on regular radio.

They talk aout "The Golden Child" and how they can not talk about him and mention his name personally.

Eddie say's we are in Z100's old studios and how it is weird that they are having John Bell in Z100's old studios.

BREAK

10:15

Kiera Massette is on the phone with a live Sports Rewind from Baltimore.


Yum...

Kiera say's she is trying out for a new LFL team tomorrow.

She talks about the Kentucky Derby and how the jockey riding "Super Saver" won 3 derby's in 4 years.

She talks about Santonio Holmes, who got in trouble for not taking off his Ipod on a plane.

Eddie thinks he is playing the race card. Kiera say's it is more like the "I'm a pro athlete" card. Kiera say's he needs to lay low because a team is giving him another chance.

She talks about Brett Favre and how he might have ankle surgery or not and miss out next season.

Eddie say's he is annoyed with Favre because every year he pulls the same bullshit. Craig say's he needs a segway to get around the field.

Kiera say's we will most likely find out the last second if he comes back or not.

Hammy say's as a longtime fan of the Greenbay Packers, playing the Vikings has been easy the past few years and the Vikings were 1 good QB away from going to the Superbowl. Hammy say's the Vikings should have been in the Superbowl instead of the Saints. Kiera disagrees. Billy say's the Vikings weren't waving "Save Haiti" flags, thats why they weren't in the Superbowl.

Kiera talks about a Cowboys player who claims that his father is a pimp.

Kiera talks about the Mets and Yankees both losing tonight.

Kiera talks about the big boxing match tonight between Floyd Mayweather and Shane Mosley.

Eddie say's everyone wants to see Mayweather knocked out because he has never been knocked out before. Kiera say's she is hoping Mosley wins the fight because she loves the underdog.

They argue about boxing and various big fights they loved.

Kiera say's her New York team folded so she might have to move elsewhere for another team.

BREAK

10:35

W.T.F. News

First story is about a man who wanted to have his wake while he was on his motorcycle.



Second story is about a kid who killed himself by the choking game.

Hammy say's a Facebook group honoring him has a funny pic of him holding a Coca Cola bottle looking like a salesman.



Eddie say's why can't kids just get high normally.

Koof say's he thinks he figured out why his Grandfather killed himself now.

Danny accidentally wraps up the bit and forgets to do another story. Everyone laughs at him for being a dummy.

The third story is about a man who wrapped his head in toilet paper and tried to rob a store.

Koof wonders why Danny had to read the closing plug word for word again. Danny and Eddie admit they are shameless pluggers.

Koof asks whens the last time anyone ate out an asshole. Eddie say's he will only do it if the girl is fresh out of the shower. Eddie wonders where Koof gets his ideas from.

BREAK

10:51

John Bell isn't on the phone yet, so Eddie talks about The Bamboozle.

They talk about the amazing time they had at the Fozzy concert and tell a story about how Koof tore his pants while trying to get his Butterfinger.




John Bell on the phone

John say's he's trying to sleep later in the morning ever since he was fired.

John say's he's been at Z100 since day 1, before Elvis Duran started doing the morning zoo.

Eddie asks how long John was at Clearchannel. John say's 12-15 years.

Eddie mentions John's firing. John say's he was brought to an office with a bunch of suits that read him a formal "Your Fired" notice.

John tells some stories about being on the morning show. Eddie mentions again that we are in the old Z100 studios.

John say's Elvis Duran and the rest of the morning zoo people were in another conference room and couldn't say goodbye when he was fired. John say's people were nervous that he was going to punch them.

Koof asks John if he has any negative feelings towards Elvis Duran. John say's he doesn't have any negative feelings, despite what everyone say's. He admits he's very disappointed though.

John say's the suits were very professional about the manner and the reality of being fired hit him halfway home.

Eddie say's suits are killing radio and everything sounds the same. John say's it's cheaper to have one show in 50 cities than 50 different morning shows, so it's even harder to get into radio.

Eddie say's new guy's in radio need to learn under the veterans and with the suits wanting to automate everything, it's harder to have an actual mentor.

John say's it's better to learn 6 months under a veteran than 4 years in school. John say's he learned more under Scott Shannon than anyone.

John again say's he has no negative feelings towards the staff. John say's years ago it was easier to work at the station and talk to the owners before the suits took over and turned everything corporate.

John say's he was a number on a budget card to the corporate suits.

John say's he would like to work for Goom because it is where he used to work. Eddie say's he will set up a meeting ASAP.

John say's getting rid of the veterans because their salary is up is ridiculous. It ruins the opportunity for younger guys to get a big shot.

They wrap up, plug his website and say bye.

Eddie say's Clear Channel failed big time and Goom will pick up the pieces.

BREAK

11:15

They talk about the interview. Craig say's he was scared to ask him a question.

Crazy Pollack is on the phone and say's John hit it right on the money with his facts.

Eddie say's John was right about Goom being the future and say's thats the reason they like it at Goom.

Crazy Pollack say's there is no loyalty to the veterans that paved the way and some young shot asshole makes all of the choices for the station now.

Eddie say's corporations that run radio don't even know who their jocks are and it's ridiculous.

Koof say's everyone in studios dream is to work until they are 70 and never retire, thats why they love the business. Eddie say's no one on staff gets paid becaue they love it.

Moving on, Eddie brings up the Arizona outrage with illegal aliens. Craig explains what the law is, which is it is illegal for an illegal alien to be in Arizona without papers proving they are visiting. Eddie say's it pains him to agree with Hammy's strong right-winged opinions on this.

Craig say's as long as you have the proper documentation you won't be arrested.

Eddie say's John McCaine and his daughter disagree on this issue and it is not good for the family.

Eddie plays some audio of McCaine supporting the bill.

Billy explains how the bill got started.

Eddie say's he agrees with the bill and say's if you want to come to the USA, you should learn English and get your documents or else get out.

BREAK

11:35

Eddie plugs the shows website and tells all of the John Bell fans to go there.

Craig brings up the immigrant bill again and how the cops are now allowed to racial profile. Bill say's then don't do anything wrong.

Eddie say's racial profiling exists no matter what law they enforce.

Hammy say's if you are illegal and marry a US citizen, you can't be deported because of common marriage laws.

Koof say's he is looking for a male order bride now.

Eddie and Bill argue about whether you should learn English or not to live in this country.

They play an awesome political ad that is under fire for an Alabama politician that say's you should only speak English.

They all debate about whether you should learn English or not to live in this country.

Hammy say's although he doesn't mind the Spanish channels on TV and radio, if he was offered a job in Italy, he would learn basic Italian to show respect.

BREAK

11:50

Breaking news out of New York, Times Square was shut down because of a suspicious box inside a suspicious looking vehicle.

Eddie makes sure they are recording the show. Eddie say's his "Bullshit Alarm" is sky rocketing.

Malcom Brenner on phone.

Eddie talks about the book. Malcome corrects Eddie and say's it's a novel.

Malcome talks about how he and the dolphin got in a relationship.

Hammy asks Malcome what was wrong with women. Malcome say's the dolphin beat up a woman he was with because it thought the woman was his girlfrined.

Malcome explains dolphins are very sexual and posessive.

Craig asks how he physically did it. Malcome say's the female dolphins have the same organs as humans and he had to fuck the dolphin under water.

Eddie asks if the dolphin pussy was deep or not. Malcome say's the dolphin pussy was small enough to fit just right in.

Danny asks how the dolphin came onto him. Malcome say's the dolphin rubbed her pussy on his cock.

Eddie asks what drove him to fuck a dolphin. Malcome say's he was hiking and found an old dolphin park that was closing and fell in love with the dolphin.

Hammy asks if the dolphin blew him. Malcome say's the dolphins teeth are sharp.

Hammy asks if he was molested. Malcome say's he was molested.

They wrap up and say bye.

BREAK

12:18

Eddie brings up the Fozzy concert again and Koof's torn pants. They talk about the opening bands.

Eddie talks about his contest he is having on Facebook where his 1,000th friend will be a one time only co-host of the show.

They talk about Malcom and the complete creep that he is.

Eddie asks if anyone believes him. Everyone discusses whether they believe them or not.

Moving on, Eddie talks about a list of the "100 Most Beautiful Women".

Eddie say's Sandra Bullock not on the list is an outrage.


I'm wondering that myself

Everyone talks about the choices on the list.

Jennifer Lopez is 14 and they talk about whether people would fuck her in the ass or not.


I'm not one for anal, but I certainly would with her.

Justin Bieber is 11.

They talk about more people on the list.

BREAK

12:36

We talk about the list some more. We stare at Scarlett Johanssons lovely tits.


Screw Kelis. I'm on team Scarlett

Koof wants to talk about the Times Square Bomb. We just say Julia Roberts is #1 on the list.

Koof wonders if this was a real bomb attempt.

They debate on conspiracy theory's and whether the government sets shit up or not.

Craig thinks the government has great PR people that feed not so true stories to the public.

Koof say's it's weird the government catches the terrorists "just in time" before an attack happens.

Eddie thinks everyone listened to Jessie Ventura to much.


It's MIND CONTROL!

Koof thinks the car in Times Square was staged.

Moving on, Floyd Mayweather destroyed Shane Mosley.

BREAK

12:51

They talk about the Times Square incident some more. Craig say's it was two female cops. Koof still thinks it was staged.

Billy plays some audio of the breaking news story.

Everyone debates about the fire some more. Koof still isn't convinced it is real.

Billy goes back to audio.

Eddie wonders if Koof is ok because he has a creepy look on his face.

Eddie thanks everyone for calling in and the interviews with dolphin fucker and John Bell. Ham Radio starts at 9pm next week.

SHOW ENDS AT 12:59

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LISTEN TO THE REPLAY!

Missed this weeks show? No problem! Just head on over HERE and you can listen to a replay of the entire show on EdgeFM. The replay will happen Monday's at 4pm Eastern.

SHAMELESS PLUGS!

The Rundown

G.U.T.S. Radio

Brainstu Radio

EdgeFM

That's all for this week, I'm Hammy, and I'm out like Lynn Redgrave..... To soon?

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